The jumbled mess I call my head
Over thinks as I lie in bed
It always plays a major part
On the ability I have to even start;
To think about what lies ahead
Each thought buzzing, no words to be said.
The problems I face are all too complex
There’s no one there to sooth the effects
As they build and build
My emotions spilled
Every inch of my sanity slowly being killed.
I wrote this poem (off the top of my head so it’s a level under a draft) because I’ve had some bad news. Someone I love dearly took an overdose & my thoughts have raced ever since I was told which has been a day now (I found out yesterday). I’ve had no sleep, no food (yet I feel sick) & had a break down at school. I felt I was going to have a major panic attack & feared I wouldn’t be able to get up the stairs to my form room. So instead I found what’s left of my courage & went to speak to a teacher, no I didn’t tell her about the overdose or anything really, no words came out, I just sat and cried like a weirdo. We chatted a bit and she got me to write how I felt (like how I do on here). I felt better but I still feel overwhelmed.
It’s not like the person to want to take their own life and I hope no one has to hear it. It’s a terrible thing to hear that they tried. I don’t wish it up on my enemy because the confusion and heartache it causes is too much to bear. And for anyone who has gone through this or is going through this my thoughts go out to you.